E44 - Jerks on a Plane

Jeff: 0:00

This week,we recall an unfortunate beer incident,Chris confronts a beast,somebody gets impeached,and for the love of God,don't do that on an airplane.Welcome to Subpar Talks..Hey everybody.Welcome to Subpar Talks where we have conversations about everything.I'm Jeff.

Chris: 0:36

And I'm Chris.

Jeff: 0:38

Thank you again for joining us and of course,as always,at this point,we talk about our standard disclaimer,listener discretion is advised.We like to curse from time to time,perhaps a lot depending on the episode.And depending on the episode,we will touch on some mature subject matter and we inject our humor into all of this stuff.So if that is not your thing,then perhaps this podcast is not your thing.But for everybody else,settle in,buckle up and get ready because here we go with this week's topics.Are you drinking?

Chris: 1:16

I am.I got a Long Island.

Jeff: 1:18

All right,rock on.I've got a beer.I've got a German beer.You see how dark that is?

Chris: 1:25

That is dark.

Jeff: 1:27

Yeah,I have to be careful with dark beers,especially German beers cuz they're really high in,uh,alcohol content.But do you remember,I'll edit the name of the place out,but the night I had that beer at,it was a dark beer.

Chris: 1:44

Was that what it was really?

Jeff: 1:46

It wasn't the same type of beer,but it was a dark beer and it was like nine and a half percent alcohol.

Chris: 1:51

Oh mama.

Jeff: 1:53

Holy shit.So yeah,Chris and I met up at a place once and I had a dark beer.I don't remember the name of it,but it was like nine and a half percent alcohol and that was not one of my finest moments.

Chris: 2:13

I don't think the beer by itself messed you up.You and I are pretty much drinking the same thing up until then,but it,I think the beer certainly put you on the bad path,but maybe if you had had the beer without the other stuff,it wouldn't have been so bad.

Jeff: 2:30

Yeah.You know that whole thing,you know,liquor before beer,in the clear,beer before liquor never sicker.Well,I started off with the beer and I don't know how much truth there is to that,but,I'm never starting off with a beer like that again.But yeah,I,I started with that and I only remember certain things from that night.I do remember puking in a parking lot.

Chris: 2:53

Yep.And left your DNA there.

Jeff: 2:57

All over the place.I vaguely remember staring at a dessert.I think it was a cake.I don't know if I ate it or not.

Chris: 3:06

I don't remember either.I can't,oh yeah,I think you did eat a little bit of it.Yeah.That probably didn't help anything.

Jeff: 3:13

No,it didn't stay with me for very long.

Chris: 3:17

No,it didn't,but we didn't know yet that things were going south.I knew things were going south when we were both sitting there,I thought OK,and then I just,I'm looking at you,and you're just progressively slumping down.Just,you're just going down to the bar.Are you OK?Um,just scrolling through reels on Facebook.Mm-hmm.You know how when you like something or if you watch something for X amount of seconds,then it's gonna think you're interested in that.So it's just gonna start throwing you all those types of videos,but it's posts from Reddit and it's just them asking a question.Right?And this question was,Americans,what do you like from,or what do you see as a luxury in Europe that Europeans just take for granted?And I figured people would mention like healthcare,you know,they get free healthcare and,and yes,that was mentioned,but one person mentioned that stall doors and bathrooms go all the way to the floor.Do they really?That's a normal thing.Evidently.Evidently.I mean,I've,I don't recall seeing that,but whatever.I thought that was funny.That is funny.And see,I still don't get that.Why don't they go to the floor?I don't know.I mean,I've heard some really stupid arguments for it,like wanting to know if somebody's sick or whatever,but,nah,come on.Yeah,that's not,that can't be a thing.No,because then I've also been in places where what would be a stall is like its own room.You know?It's got,yeah.A full door and,and the whole thing is enclosed.Well,somebody could die in there.You know it.Yeah.Till you smelled.Yeah.That's great.Well,that would be rough.Go in the bathroom and detect an odor.It's like,well,I never smelled that before it was died on the toilet.Somebody pulled an Elvis right there in the stall.So I saw a Reddit question recently and I didn't go read it,but I didn't even know what to say about this.Is what used to be considered normal,but would be considered a luxury now.Now,I thought that was a really interesting

Jeff: 5:54

question.Yeah,it is.I'd have to think about that.So what were some of the responses.I don't

Chris: 6:00

know.I should have gone to read it,but now I was just wondering if we could come up with anything.I don't even know.It seems like everything goes,tends together the way of,yeah.I mean,something starts out as a luxury.It's expensive.Few people have it.Yeah.It becomes more commonplace.Costs go down,more people can afford it.What in the world goes the other way,

Jeff: 6:32

man.Yeah.I'd have to dwell on that for a while.

Chris: 6:35

Hmm.Interesting way to look at it.At least.

Jeff: 6:38

Yeah,

Chris: 6:42

so I'm sitting watching TV earlier and I see something fly across my living room,which,

Jeff: 6:48

oh my God,that's

Chris: 6:50

never a good

Jeff: 6:51

thing right there.I mean,I

Chris: 6:53

don't really care when or how or whatever,but you don't want to see that.No,but here's the thing.I live on a third floor,which.I tend to not see as many bugs as you would normally see anyway,because I think they're just more around the ground floor fly.Even flying bugs,it seems like certain bugs just don't go up as high.Yeah.I even Googled one time like,how far up do mosquitoes go?And it seemed,and I,I consistently was finding that,you know,Anywhere between30and40feet or something is about as high as they will go.Cuz they will tend to stay just closer to the ground.Yeah.But this thing,it,it was not a wasp but it was a little bit wasp like,and I've seen this kind of bug before.I don't know what it is,but the most,here's what was the most disturbing thing about it,is I have not been outside today.Mm,which means it got in before today,and that means it was in here with me while I was sleeping at least once.And that really threw me.Yeah,like if something is,if something is crawling around,flying around,particularly flying around and I'm sleeping,I just don't want to know about it.No.Yeah.But this thing,well,it met its end.I'll say that.All right.

Jeff: 8:35

What did it look like?

Chris: 8:37

It had wings,kinda like a wasp.Its body a little bit like that.It clearly was not a wasp,but it was,uh,it was a big insect though.I mean,it was,it was a sizable thing.

Jeff: 8:52

How'd you kill it?

Chris: 8:54

And I wouldn't want it on me.A fly swatter.It landed on my blinds and I smacked it down and I

Jeff: 9:02

saw it fall.Isn't that nerve wracking when you're about to smack something like that with a fly swatter?Like you better get a good hit on it,get it.Otherwise it's gonna make a U-turn and just do whatever they do.Yep,exactly.

Chris: 9:18

And since I didn't know what it was,I didn't know what they do.That concerned me.But here was,here was where it got worse.I hit it.I watched it fall between the blinds and the window.Mm-hmm.But I get down and look on the floor.I don't see it.Oh no.I'm like,oh,this is,this just got worse.Right?Yeah,it did.So then I started getting down and crawling and looking under the furniture and everything,and I found it.It was still crawling on the floor.That's when I finished.Finished it,finished him off.Put it in a little body bag.Yep.

Jeff: 10:04

Have you ever been

Chris: 10:04

stung?Yeah,I have,I've been stung by what I think was a red wasp.I did not,I did not see what stung me,but I know there were other red wasps around the tree that,yeah,it,that whatever it was came off of.So I'm pretty sure that was a red wasp.And then I got stung by a,a small yellow jacket.One time I was just walking through the grass.There were some weeds and I thought that like a sticker on a weed had hit me,but I knew like,damn,that hurt.That does not feel like that.And sure enough,I looked and there was a big nest on the underside of a fence rail.And Yep.So there were a bunch of them on there and,but the thing that pissed me off about that I wasn't even like,I was probably three or four feet away from their nest,walking the other way,minding my own business.And,and they just get their little attitude and come after you.

Jeff: 11:14

Well,uh,

Chris: 11:16

little assholes.Yep.None of them made it either,and I took great pleasure in it.Sons of

Jeff: 11:26

bitches.I've been stung by wasp,a bee and a yellow jacket.I've been sung by a yellow jacket a couple times.Those hurt the

Chris: 11:35

worst.They do out

Jeff: 11:36

the others.Yeah.Yeah.And the last time I was stung by yellow jacket,I was mowing the yard stung me on the leg.God damn it hurt.It felt like somebody stabbed my leg.Yeah,

Chris: 11:47

I know.See,I think I,I got lucky with.I don't know if it really was a young yellow jacket or like a different species that kind of looks like it,but maybe wasn't because I think this one didn't hurt as much as it could have if it had been a full size normal yellow jacket.When I got stung by what I think was a red wasp,it did.It left a good size.Uh,Welp on the back of my neck and I mean,almost as soon as I could get my hand back there,I felt the,the spot coming up.And I didn't know when I got stung by that.I didn't know.I knew that they were on the,had been on the tree in the past.I didn't know there was anything there then.So it's not like I saw something coming for me,but yeah.I was walking away from the tree and the way I described it,I still remember,I swear.It felt like this was something that just hit me with an impact.It was like I,yeah,I felt something strike me and it felt like it had teeth,I swear,where it felt like something just took a little chomp out of the back of my neck.

Jeff: 13:12

Damn.I hate those types of bugs.God.Yeah.You know,it's one thing having'em in your house or whatever,but if they can do damage to me,Jesus.Yeah.I hate that stuff.Yeah,I do too.You ever seen the,you ever seen the guy?I think you,there might have been a show on Netflix,but I'm pretty sure you can find this stuff on YouTube where he voluntarily gets stung by different things to rate how painful they

Chris: 13:40

are.No.Yeah,that's insane.Also a

Jeff: 13:44

weird shit.I know.All sorts of weird shit.Like,like we have,you know,washed yellow jackets,bees,whatever,but he'll go to like shit they have in Thailand or who the fuck knows what,you know,crawling around on the jungle floor scorpions or whatever,and,and get stung by those.Oh my

Chris: 14:04

gosh.Now I've heard that's horribly painful.Fortunately,just knock on wood right now.Yeah.I've never been stung by a scorpion,but I ever heard That's horribly painful.

Jeff: 14:17

I bet.I mean,look at the stingers.Yeah,

Chris: 14:19

those stingers look like a,a spike a knife.

Jeff: 14:27

Did you see,uh,our attorney general has been impeached?

Chris: 14:31

I did.I'm a little bit surprised.I didn't know that that.Was actually gonna happen.

Jeff: 14:39

I didn't either.It came like it was a really quick process.Mm-hmm.So to catch everybody up to speed on one of the many dicks we have serving in Texas government,Ken Paxton is the attorney General.He's been under felony indictment for like five years,maybe more.For securities fraud.The allegations there that he misled investors and I don't remember what else,but anyway,he was impeached by the Texas House of Representatives and it was a121to23vote.

Chris: 15:20

That's significant.

Jeff: 15:21

It is significant.It has a ton of Republican support.But now he goes on trial in the Senate and the question there is can they get two thirds necessary to kick him out of office and.I'm not convinced that they can,uh,I don't know.You're gonna have some people,Trump type allies,who will,they'll just support him no matter what.

Chris: 15:46

Yeah.But we'll see.Well,hopefully not very many since I got that many Republicans to support impeachment.

Jeff: 15:53

Yeah,I know.So the23,who voted against impeachment are all Republicans.And,uh,the re the Republicans have a,so there are31senators.I'm trying to remember how many they have.I think they've got at least20.Mm-hmm.Did you know though,that Ken Paxton's wife is a state senator?No,

Chris: 16:17

I did not.Yes.So,Should she recuse herself?

Jeff: 16:22

She absolutely should.I don't know whether she will,I don't know if there's any,I don't think there's any law on it.There's no precedence for this,so who knows?But you know,he,he cheated on her,right?Do you know that?Like it's,oh,really?Without a doubt.He cheated on her.Yes.It would be hilarious if she didn't recuse herself,but then voted against him.

Chris: 16:45

Yeah.Well,hell Health,no fury.Right,

Jeff: 16:48

right.Yeah,absolutely.Yeah.So it came out like four years ago that he cheated on her and part of the,uh,part of the charges with the impeachment thing is that his mistress lived in San Antonio.But he pulled some strings to get her a job in Austin,so she would be closer to him.So that was so

Chris: 17:12

you wouldn't have to drive as far to fuck her.Right.

Jeff: 17:17

I35is a bitch.There's a whole lot of traffic.Really?Let's just hit her in the same town.

Chris: 17:23

You don't want to have to go back in Florida stair.No,

Jeff: 17:27

it's a pain.

Chris: 17:29

Yeah,and there's shit in the middle.You don't want to have to meet halfway or anything.No new Braun falls,

Jeff: 17:40

so I don't know what's gonna happen.It's gonna be interesting to watch.

Chris: 17:45

Was that recent that he had an affair?

Jeff: 17:49

Uh,I think it was years ago,like three,four years ago it came out that he had an affair.OK.And,and they've supposedly reconciled,but I don't know.Yeah.

Chris: 18:03

She could still be holding onto it.Yeah.She's just,she was waiting for this day.

Jeff: 18:09

Imagine she's playing the long game.Yep.Imagine if she's the deciding vote and she votes to kick him outta office.That would be glorious.Mess

Chris: 18:21

you up.Bad chicken.

Jeff: 18:29

You've flown a lot,right?You've been on Yeah.Paramount many,many,many times.Yeah.Yeah.Many times.Would you say that there's something that people do that stands out that you just absolutely cannot stand?Uh,there's

Chris: 18:44

probably a lot.Yeah.One thing I think,I mean,yeah,I could probably go down the laundry list.I hate when people come on the plane and they put their bag in the first available bin,like they may be sitting in the back of the plane,but they put their bag up at the front of the plane.Like that means if wherever I'm sitting,the spot may already be taken and I've gotta now walk somewhere else to put my bag up.Yeah,that sucks.I hate when everybody gets up as soon as the plane

Jeff: 19:20

stops and stand there for10

Chris: 19:23

minutes.Yes.Like,yeah,just settle down.Nobody's going anywhere.They gotta open the fucking door first.Yep.

Jeff: 19:34

OK.The reason I'm asking this is,uh,a couple of days ago in the New York Times,this flight attendant wrote,uh,an article.She says she's been a flight attendant for21years,and she came up with some etiquette rules,like for summer travel.These are things that you need to do or not do while you're on a plane.And I was gonna ask you if you've encountered any of this or if you've done any of this.We'll see how,how well behaved you are when you're in the air.All right.Do you recline your seat

Chris: 20:08

ever?Not anymore.I,I mean,I used to back in the day,but back in the day,it was when there was more room.I think now I think it's rude to recline your seat.So it really pisses me off when somebody else does it,and for that reason,I won't

Jeff: 20:25

either.OK.Would you ever ask anybody to recline your seat?Like if you wanted to recline,would you ever turn around,ask them if

Chris: 20:34

you could recline?No,I don't think so.Now I will.OK.I just thought of this.I have reclined my seat.If the person behind me has reclined their seat because if they've already reclined their seat and are therefore leaning back,yeah.Then it's not a as big of a deal if I lean back because they're not sitting up trying to do anything.They're not using the trays,whatever like that.Yeah.But no,I wouldn't ask somebody about reclining my own seat.I have asked the person in front of me not to recline their seat.Yeah.I had somebody do that right after takeoff on an international flight,and I thought I was gonna freak the fuck out God right after takeoff and they're like,well,I want to be comfortable.I said,so do I.I said,look around us.Nobody else is doing it.We still have to eat.Like I say that because it was an international flight,international that going to serve meals.Yeah.Yeah.And it's like you're not gonna be able to be reclined eating,so just wait until it's time to sleep.

Jeff: 21:48

Yeah.So she says,uh,if you're gonna recline,Turn around and ask the person nicely if they mind you reclining.And when I looked at the comments,a lot of people pointed that out.They said,why are you putting the onus on the person to ask if you can recline when the airlines used to have more room,as you said,so now you're just taking up more room with your seats,people don't have as much room,and now you're putting the onus on the person,the customer.To do that,but I,in the times I've flown,I don't recline.I just don't wanna have to mess with it.I don't wanna piss anybody off.I wouldn't want anybody doing it to me.So I just sit there.No,like an idiot.Yeah.Uh,have you flown with your kids ever?I have,yeah.Did you clean up

Chris: 22:40

after your kids?Oh,yeah.I mean,as far as like trash and stuff,yeah.I always take my trash with me.

Jeff: 22:48

Right.I cannot imagine not cleaning up after,after my kids,but evidently there are people who do that.Just leave all the shit on the floor in the seat and all that

Chris: 22:58

doesn't surprise me at all.That's horrible.Yeah.You know,if I,sometimes I'll take my,I'll take,I was gonna say food,I mean like a snack,maybe food,but not so much that sometimes just,yeah,a little snack or something,which might have.Packaging or whatever actually when they come around.I was trying to think when they come around,like to collect your cups or something from the drink.Mm-hmm.If I have trash from packaging or whatever,I just include that and get rid of it all at one time.Yeah,same.But yeah,I don't wanna leave stuff behind for them.

Jeff: 23:36

Next she says the overhead bins aren't your personal Tetris game.So the bins are first come first.Serve in economy class.You don't own the spot directly above your seat,and it's not acceptable to take out someone else's bag to make yours fit.Sliding bags to maximize space is fine,but save the complex puzzle solving for the flight attendant.And remember,small bags belong at your feet keeping room for large bags in the overhead bins.So yes,but ideally,as you said,I know you don't have a bin,like the bins don't belong to any one person,but put your bag above the.Seat that you're in,like put it in the bin that's above the seat that you're in.Ideally,

Chris: 24:19

I'm not sure I totally agree with that.I,I think the bin above your seat is where your stuff is supposed to go.Now,everybody may not be carrying on a checked bag,so maybe that means there's extra space somewhere else.But yeah,I think you should be attempting to put it above your own seat.Now,I had a situation one time talking about making room.I went to the overhead bin and a guy that was already sitting on my row had put his bag up there and his jacket laid out in the overhead bin beside his bag.No.Now first of all,your jacket technically shouldn't be up there.It's supposed to be for large bags,right?You could have put your jacket on the floor in front of your seat,or I would say wait until the very end,and then you could lay it across all the bags,but it shouldn't be taking up bag space.So when I went to put my bag up there,I just moved his coat over next to his bag and then put my bag in there.He went off,he got upset,number one,because I touched his coat and I sat down in my seat and he kept talking about it.I was like,man,it's not supposed to be up there to begin with.I gotta have room for my bag.You can put your coat on top of there.You can hold your coat,whatever.He kept going off about it to me.And about five minutes later,a flight attendant came back to me and told me I was getting upgraded to first class.

Jeff: 26:01

Oh,that's awesome.It

Chris: 26:04

was so great.Wow.So I said,I look back at him and I said,now your bag's not now.My bag's not touching your code anymore.That's so great.

Jeff: 26:15

Yes.That is awesome.Well,a flight attendant would've told him the same thing that get your fucking coat out of there until everybody's got their

Chris: 26:22

bags there.I,I think that's one area where I,I think flight attendants need to be doing a better job of that.They let people do things that they instruct them not to do.Like they'll tell'em ahead of time not to do it,but then they're not enforcing their own rules.And if they did,It would make things a lot easier.Yeah,because like I said,you got people having to walk farther back on the plane to put their bag up and then come back to a front seat to sit down.Yeah.Well that just makes the planning and delan process take longer than if they made sure that when people were getting on the plane,they were actually putting their bag up over their own seat.Do you

Jeff: 27:11

have,uh,conversations on your phone?Like when you're,like,before takeoff or after you land?Will you talk on your phone?

Chris: 27:20

I have,

Jeff: 27:21

but do you speaker,do you put it on speaker?

Chris: 27:24

Oh,absolutely not.No.What I,so normally I will,I try to get a window seat just because I like a window seat.And especially if I have a window seat.If I'm on the phone,then I just turn my head toward the window to talk on the phone.Yeah.And that muffles it too.

Jeff: 27:45

Yeah.She's saying here,don't,don't talk on the phone,like don't have it on speaker.Nobody wants to hear your conversation.I have heard people doing that.Put it on speakers,like,what the fuck?But that's not just in a plane,that's anywhere.I don't want to hear your goddamn conversation.

Chris: 28:02

Yeah.That is so annoying.People have zero,zero self-awareness for being around others.

Jeff: 28:10

One time my wife and I had just landed in Dallas and this guy was on his phone,a couple of rows behind us,and I don't know who he was talking to,but he says,yeah,we just landed in Albuquerque.I don't know if he was clueless.Or if he was like,is he having an affair?Like what is he doing?Is he doing something he should not,he shouldn't be doing.Yeah.He is trying to hide whatever he is doing,whoever he is talking with.But I thought that was funny.I had half of mine to shout out.No,we're not.We're not in

Chris: 28:50

Albuquerque.Yeah.You might not have lived through

Jeff: 28:53

that.I know.Yeah.Have you ever sat?So if you have three or more,well,OK.Three or whatever,say three seats in a row,uh,or you know,on one side.Have you ever sat in the middle?So not an aisle,not a window,but you had to sit in the middle?

Chris: 29:12

Yeah.Had to.Not on purpose.

Jeff: 29:15

Not on purpose,yeah.So how did you deal with the armrests,or how do you generally deal with armrests?In other words,who's got which armrests,

Chris: 29:26

if you do it right,you can both be on the armrest,like one behind and one in front.And I've tried to do that,you know,where I might have my arms way back,and then the other person could be more forward or vice versa.I don't really think of it as who I've got it.And you don't,or the other way around.I think it can work if nobody's trying to completely hog it.

Jeff: 29:54

She says the middle seat gets both armrests.She says it's the consolation prize for being squished between two people with nowhere to lean case closed.

Chris: 30:07

OK?So I mean,that means the person by the window has a place to lean.The person on the outside has one arm has to lean.I get that,but I guarantee you.Most people aren't going to even know that.Nevermind.Respect it.

Jeff: 30:24

I hate sitting in the middle.Hate it.

Chris: 30:27

I do too.I mean,unless I'm with people I know,then it really doesn't matter.Well,OK.That's

Jeff: 30:33

true.Yeah.Yeah.Uh,have you ever had people try to talk to you when you didn't want to talk?

Chris: 30:41

Usually,I mean,if they try to talk to me then I probably don't want to,but it depends on what the person looks like,honestly.Well,obviously,obviously.I mean,cuz then there have been other times I might be that one to try to strike up the conversation.Mm-hmm.And that's outta my character,but I've done it so Right.

Jeff: 31:09

So she says,uh,headphones are a way to just stop somebody from talking.And if somebody puts on their headphones,that's a clear signal that they don't want to talk to you.Yes,I would think that would be the case,but evidently,some people still try to talk when the other person has headphones on.It's like,get a clue.

Chris: 31:31

No kidding.

Jeff: 31:33

Have you ever taken your shoes

Chris: 31:34

off on a flight?Only on an international flight when other people,and it's like a common thing that people will do that to sleep.And my feet,I don't have a foot odor problem,so

Jeff: 31:49

nobody's touching my feet.No.

Chris: 31:52

So I'm OK with that,but yeah,that's the only time I do is like,all right,I'm going to sleep.On like during the night on an international flight,and other people are doing that too.Have you ever taken

Jeff: 32:10

your socks off?No.

Chris: 32:14

That's for my own protection.I don't,whatever's on the floor,I don't want getting on my feet,

Jeff: 32:25

so she says it is never,ever acceptable to take your socks off.Don't ever do that.No foot smell is inescapable.She says.Also,keep your feet to yourself.It's not acceptable to rest your feet on the armrest of the person in front.Who the hell would do that?And I highly recommend putting your footwear back on to use the laboratory.

Chris: 32:48

Oh,absolutely.

Jeff: 32:49

Yeah.Why would you walk down the aisle just in your sock feet?I'm

Chris: 32:54

not doing that,and I'm sure as hell not going in the bathroom in my socks.Oh,

Jeff: 33:00

gross.Yeah,I didn't think about that part.That's the worst.You know,

Chris: 33:04

the more we talk about it,just think about how filthy a plane must really be.Oh,I know.Yeah,yeah.When you come on the plane and it's,you know,like nice and fresh and new and cleaned and all that from the last flight they came through and fixed everything.You sit down in the seat and it's like,OK,everything's nice and arranged.You have this idea that it's,I,I guess an idea that it's sanitary,whatever.It's not.

Jeff: 33:37

No.I saw a video,uh,I think it was just one of the Facebook reels,but it was this flight attendant talking about how the maintenance crew comes in,not maintenance crew.The cleaning crew comes in.And what they clean and what they don't.And one of the things they don't clean is the tray table.They don't clean that.Yes.They're not gonna pull it down and clean it,so holy hell.Even though you're eating off that don't like put it on a napkin or whatever.

Chris: 34:07

Gross.Well,I've seen,and this tends to be women,although I should do it myself,is they will take cleaning,what do you call'em?Um,like,like a pa,a package of like wet ones.What

Jeff: 34:24

I started to say,

Chris: 34:25

sanitary napkin.

Jeff: 34:32

Well,well,I guess those

Chris: 34:33

would work too.Whatever you got,I guess.Unless they're used right.But yeah,whatever you call Yeah,like a wet wipe thing.Yeah,whatever.And I've seen several women do it and had women offer them to me,and I'll take'em like,yeah,absolutely.If I don't have it,sure,I'll take it.I wipe down the armrest,I'll wipe down the tray table.Um,but I don't usually carry it with me,so then I don't have it anyway.I,I did though many,many years ago,just started carrying hand sanitizer with me and,you know,getting,getting off the plane,doing stuff like that.I'll just put hand sanitizer on if I can't just go wash my hands.Yep.Nasty.

Jeff: 35:24

Yeah.Have you ever had somebody,like if you're flying alone,have you ever had somebody ask to switch seats with you?So that the family could be together?

Chris: 35:36

No,not for that.No.

Jeff: 35:40

OK.She says this is an unpopular opinion that she has,but no,you don't have to switch with someone who asks you if you've paid extra for your seat,or even if it's just an inconvenience,you can kindly say,no.

Chris: 35:53

I'd like not to be asked that.Because of that,like,yeah,you may have paid more money.For the seat you have and things like that.And then I don't want to be put in that kind of position because I would understand,like I would want the people to be able to sit together,but then what kind of shit have I gotten myself into?Right?

Jeff: 36:18

Who knows who you're gonna be next to also,and I think this is kind of her point.It's on them.It's on them to arrange seating together before you get on the flight.Yeah.Speaking of the bathroom,have you ever gone to the bathroom and not

Chris: 36:36

flushed?No.Why would you do that?I

Jeff: 36:42

don't know.I have no idea.That's disgusting.I mean,the bathrooms are disgusting anyway,but not flushing.Holy hell.

Chris: 36:52

Yeah,they are disgusting and,and smaller

Jeff: 36:55

than a broom closet.Yeah.Yep.Have you ever used the call button?You ever used the button to call one of the flight attendants?

Chris: 37:06

Yeah,but very rarely.

Jeff: 37:10

Yeah.Uh,she says use it sparingly.It is preferable to poking or tapping the flight attendant,which is not OK.See,that would never occur to me.But evidently people do it.Poke the,poke the flight

37:25

attendant.

Jeff: 37:28

At least buy her a

Chris: 37:29

couple of drinks first.I know that has all kinds of connotations here.You poke her and then ask if you can buy her a drink.Right?You gotta backwards.

Jeff: 37:42

That's amazing.OK.Last but not least,and this is not in here,but there was a new story recently about a guy who masturbated.

Chris: 37:54

Oh yeah,I heard about that.

Jeff: 37:58

Didn't he do it like three

Chris: 38:00

times on a flight?Holy shit.Yes.And he apparently asked the person next to him if they were OK with it.Well,he's polite,considered,and she took pictures and or videoed.Oh my God.So that's how they had proof that it actually happened.Just I know.I felt speechless about the whole thing.Yeah.I don't even know what to say,like,no,

Jeff: 38:29

she said she was cool with it.Did she say she was cool with it because she was actually cool with it?Or did she say she was cool with it because she was freaked out and what if I say no?

Chris: 38:42

Yeah,I think she was freaked out.Wow.But,but that was part of his defense is if she was so bothered by it,why was she doing whatever she did?Either took pictures or video,like how bad was this to her?If she was OK to do that,but.Yeah,apparently after the fact and her being interviewed,she was offended,disgusted,all of the things that you would expect.But I mean,I guess if you're on a robe by yourself,well just have at it.I don't know,but holy shit.I mean,he wasn't even trying to hide it.That's the thing.He was next to someone.To the point that he felt the need to ask.Right.What the

Jeff: 39:35

hell,what has gone on in his mind and for how long that,that even occurs for him to do like that even occurs to him that this is a possibility.

Chris: 39:49

Jesus.I don't know.He could have at least gone to the broom closet.

Jeff: 39:53

Yeah,man.Put on your shoes first.OK.There you go.If you like this kind of stuff,this is your type of podcast and there is more where that came from.So you should absolutely follow us on whatever platform you listen to podcasts on.That way you will get new episodes delivered to you automatically every single Tuesday when they drop.And while you are there,go ahead and rate us.We would be really happy if you'd give us five stars and while you're there,write something.It doesn't matter what you write,but if you write something the way these apps work,it makes it easier for people to discover the show.We have a website that is Subpar Talks dot com.You can go there.Leave us an email.You can leave us.Leave us a voicemail.If you want to give us suggestions for topics we should cover on future episodes,please let us know that.We are also on social media,on Twitter.We are at@subpartalks on Facebook,we are subpartalks.com.If you wanna follow our personal Twitter accounts,you can do that as well on there.I am at

Chris: 41:06

independentjeff and I am at Chris Bradford,tx.

Jeff: 41:11

And last but never,ever least,share Subpar Talks on social media.Share it with your friends,colleagues,family,whoever you encounter on a day-to-day basis.Get the word out about this because the more people we have listening to this show,the easier it is for us to get this to you each and every single week.Chris,final thoughts.Plane etiquette,bugs,

Chris: 41:39

drinking.Be careful on the planes,man.There's a whole lot of shit you could pick up,things you don't want to know about.

Jeff: 41:46

And just so we're clear,don't masturbate on a plane.

Chris: 41:51

I think that's the best advice right there.If you take nothing else away from this episode,absolutely.I had to wait until the end,but it's all worth it.

Jeff: 42:04

It is definitely worth it,yes.All right.That is another episode,and until next week's so long.