E62 - Halloween Horrors

Jeff: 0:00

This week, Happy Halloween, everybody, and welcome to Subpar Talks. Hey, everybody, welcome to Subpar Talks, where we have conversations about everything. I'm Jeff. And I'm Chris. Thank you again for joining us. And yes, of course, it's our disclaimer. We are going to curse from time to time. And depending on the episode, we will touch on some mature subject matter and we inject our humor into a lot of this stuff. So if that is not your thing, then perhaps this podcast is not for you, but for everybody else. Settle in, get ready, because here we go with this week's topics. Alright, Happy Halloween! Happy Halloween! Do you, uh, do you like getting the Halloween spirit? Is this like a big thing for you? Or just another day of the year? So,

Chris: 1:25

overall, I love Halloween. I always have. But, As an adult, I'm, I'm more into the idea of it than the practice of it. I wish, like, I don't, I decorated a few years ago, but I haven't since then. I wish I would do that, but I don't know, sometimes it's just hard to get yourself into doing it. But I love seeing Halloween decorations. I love going places, um, restaurants that are decorated, seeing houses that are decorated really well. That's

Jeff: 1:59

cool to me. To me, uh, it's more about the season. I like fall might be my favorite season. The weather's getting cooler. There's holidays. So Halloween, Thanksgiving is going to be right around the corner. And then Christmas, of course, and we're getting off the scourge that's daylight savings time. So that's going away. And, uh, yeah, it's just a good, good time of year. I like it. But Halloween, Halloween for me takes a clear backseat to Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I don't mind it. It's good. When's the last time you dressed up for Halloween? Not that long today because

Chris: 2:43

it was, um, for work they were doing a contest thing at work. And I just, I wore all black, I think I wore all black, a red tie, painted my face, that like painted kind of like a, I would say kind of skeleton ghoulish like,

Jeff: 3:03

something like that. That seems very unlike you. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. Do you like haunted houses?

Chris: 3:14

Yeah, I do. I don't do it very much. The thing is, I think I'm more nervous about them than I'd let on, but I like

Jeff: 3:24

doing it. When I was in kindergarten, my school had a little carnival thing, and my dad took me to it, and I think it was called a fall carnival. It wasn't Halloween or whatever, but they had a, uh, like a couple of rooms that was their haunted house. And this is the 80s, so my dad just takes me in there, like, this is not gonna be harmful for a five year old, like, that didn't even cross his mind, I don't think, and holy shit, I think that scarred me for a while, and he felt really bad for doing that, cause it was, it was traumatizing, so, I didn't go to haunted houses for a long time. Do you remember stuff that happened in there? Yeah, there was, uh, there was a coffin and, uh, there was a, I don't remember if the coffin was open or not, but there was a person standing next to the coffin. They were really still. So you're supposed to, you know, think that it's just a mannequin or whatever. And I remember not wanting to walk by it because I was afraid of what's going to happen and my dad was telling me, it's OK, just go on, just walk past, and of course, they jumped at me. I think that one sent me over the edge. Yeah, I bet. We went... Uh, to a haunted house at Six Flags. You remember that? That was a good one. As I recall.

Chris: 4:51

I do remember that. It was,

Jeff: 4:52

yeah, it was good. Yeah, it was scary.

Chris: 4:55

That was back when it was reasonably priced too. I think it was like 5 for us to do it. I think they charge upwards of

Jeff: 5:03

20. Oh my God. To go in those things now. I don't know if I would pay that.

Chris: 5:11

See, and I like, so here's the thing. I like going to Fright Fest at Six Flags. And there again, it's just because of the environment, you know, they've got everything decorated, they'll have fog machines and strobe lights and people dressed up that are there to scare you, all that kinds of stuff. That's fun. Only problem with that is it is packed. I mean, they are totally packed and I, I don't like that part of it.

Jeff: 5:40

I figured what we do for this episode is, uh, touch on some scary stuff. Right off the bat, I have some stuff from the scariest book known to man, otherwise known as the Bible. I scoured some websites and compiled some stories from the Bible that I would call scariest slash goriest stories, so we can run through these. Um, and this is by no means all of them. Uh, but I think this is a pretty good sampling. So.

Chris: 6:15

Well, I put together a few things too. I think this might turn out to be one of your favorite

Jeff: 6:19

episodes. Cause it's all lists. Cause it's just lit. Yeah. It's going to be lists

Chris: 6:24

and

Jeff: 6:24

lists. I know. All right. First up, the beheading of John the Baptist. Do you know anything about this? No,

Chris: 6:34

I know that. That he got beheaded, but I don't know

Jeff: 6:37

the detail of it. There's a famous, like, Renaissance painting where, uh, it depicts the story here. But anyway, OK, so King Herod put John the Baptist in prison because I think he spoke out against the king or whatever. I don't remember. It doesn't matter. But anyway, there was a party, and Herod... is so infatuated by watching his new stepdaughter dance around, her name is Salome, yeah, so evidently he wants to fuck his stepdaughter, which, that would be, like, pretty normal as far as a lot of the stuff in the bible, like, yeah, so what, anyway, he's so infatuated when he's watching her dance, He says, I'll give you anything you want, just ask me whatever you want, and I'll give it to you, and she says, I want John the Baptist's head on a platter, and he's like... Oh. I didn't think you'd say that. Is that where that comes from? What's your head on a platter? Um, yeah. I guess. Yeah. I didn't

Chris: 7:43

even know, I didn't know that that's how that came

Jeff: 7:46

about. I didn't even think about that. But anyway, he follows through and brings her, uh, his head on a platter, so. There you go. I wonder what he got in return. I don't know. Good question. OK, this, I'm going to tell you this story and you might ask me what in the hell, like what does this mean? I don't know what it means. I don't know the purpose of it. I have no fucking clue. But Moses, OK, so remember Egypt, uh, enslaved the Israelites, right? So they're in Egypt and God tells Moses to go tell Pharaoh that he's got to let his people go, right? And if he doesn't, he's going to have all these plagues. And Moses says, no, I don't want to go. He says, send my brother Aaron, don't, I don't want to go. So God didn't like that. And God was going to kill Moses. It was like, you're not going to do what I want. I'm just going to kill you. All right. That sounds about right. Yeah, it does. Moses wife, uh, Zipporah, she took a sharp stone and cut off her son's foreskin and touched Moses feet with it. And evidently that satisfied God and so he decided to let Moses live. Talk about fucked up. Cut your kid's

Chris: 9:17

dick skin off, touch it to your feet, and that takes care of it.

Jeff: 9:23

That'll take care of the problem. You're good in God's eyes now. But then didn't

Chris: 9:28

Moses have to

Jeff: 9:29

go anyway? Yeah, see, I don't know what happened there. I have no idea. Wow. Poor kid. All for nothing. All for naught. I got mutilated. OK, I don't remember this story from my Sunday school years. I didn't know the foreskin story either. I don't remember this story. This is out of the book of First Kings, I think, but there was a famine. And there were two mothers. So, two women, they each had a baby. And they were so starved, they concocted a plan that we're going to, we're gonna kill our kids and eat our kids. That's reasonable. Yeah, perfectly rational response. So, they said, OK, we'll do it. So the first woman, she boils her baby, and they eat it. Oh my god. But the other one hid her kid and didn't let...

Chris: 10:39

Didn't let the other one have any of, uh...

Jeff: 10:42

of her kids, so. So

Chris: 10:44

they shared the first

Jeff: 10:46

one? Yeah, they shared the first one. But the, the other woman backed out. She reneged on the deal. Yeah. Now,

Chris: 10:55

that could be a movie today. I could see that. Yeah,

Jeff: 10:58

yeah. But, it makes me wonder, did it ever cross the first woman's mind, like, are you gonna follow through on this? Like, can we get this in writing? Yeah, why didn't they do them both at the same time? I don't know. Could have boiled them together. Yeah? Save some time? Yeah. I don't know. OK. There's a, there's nothing really that happened here, but Babylon, did they, I think they had enslaved the Israelites for a while. Jesus Christ, how many times were the Israelites enslaved? I don't know. But anyway, Babylon, uh, had enslaved the Israelites for a while. And I think it's God talking to somebody about revenge, and when you're done with this captivity in Babylon, you're gonna get revenge, and one of the things that he mentions is you can slam their babies against the rocks and kill them. Wow. I know it. All right. And he talks about you'll be happy when you do this. Happy is the one who, and then it mentions... Slamming the babies against the rock. The Slams Your Baby against the Rock. Is that better than boiling a kid? Uh, the boiling is worse. I think so too. Yeah. That's a slower, that would be horrible. That's most likely, yeah. Yeah, just.

Chris: 12:26

You know,

Jeff: 12:27

slam my head and get it over with Yeah, Okay. This involves, I, I've, again, this was not something mentioned in any Sunday school class that I went to, but I have since heard about it and it cracks me up. So there's a prophet in the Bible named Elisha. There's Elijah and then there's Elisha. This involves Elisha and he's walking along a road. And there's a bunch of kids, boys, who are making fun of him because he's bald. Bald, Chris, bald. And they say, twice, Get out of here, baldy. Get out of here, baldy. And he doesn't like that very much. So he turns around and curses the kids. And two bears come out of the woods and maul the boys to death. All

Chris: 13:26

right, well how do we, how do we learn that?

Jeff: 13:29

Curse I don't know. But yeah, 42 boys killed just because, uh, they made fun of Alisha and it was bald head. 42. 42. Yeah. That was a gang of boys, man. But they wish say, I hadn't done that. Yep. Big mistake for a second. Right. Okay. Uh, I think these two people, Nadab and a, a be who I think is how you say it. I think they were Aaron's sons. Aaron was Moses' brother. So if you're keeping score, keeping track here. Mm-Hmm. These are Moses's nephews I think. But anyway. You weren't supposed to offer any kind of sacrifice until you were, I don't know, like, had whatever title, you weren't supposed to do it, for whatever reason, they thought, oh, I could do this, it's not that hard to offer a sacrifice to God, so they did it, and God didn't think that was very good, so he sent a fire from heaven and burned them. Perfectly rational response from God. Yeah.

Chris: 14:46

So, they became the sacrifice, a burnt offering.

Jeff: 14:52

It said, the verse says they were charred, they're charred remains. Well, I guess so. Yeah. There's a verse in the New Testament. I don't really have anything on this, but Herod, uh, is like struck down by God, but he doesn't die right away. He gets eaten from the inside by worms, and then he dies. Oh. That can't be a pleasant death. That's bad news. Yeah, it is. OK, so, there were judges for a while, the Jews had judges, they didn't have kings, they had judges, and they all, like, there were a bunch of them, we had to learn all that shit, uh, in Sunday school, but anyway, this judge, Ehud, is going to a king, King Eglon is his name, of Moab, wherever that is, and the Bible says, uh, Eglon was a fat man. In fact, he says, it says a very fat man. So, Ehud is gonna go meet with this king under the pretense of it being a friendly meeting, but in reality, Ehud is gonna kill the king. So, he walks up to the king, And says he's got something to tell him, and so the king dismisses all his attendants, uh, you know, his aides and whoever else, and so now it's just Ehud and the king in there, and, uh, if I remember right, Ehud was left handed, and so that's what shaking hands comes from, right, if you shake somebody's hand, your right hand, that shows that you're not armed, right, you're coming in peace, right? So he like, shakes the king's hand or whatever, and then he pulls a sword or knife or whatever with his left hand, and stabs the king. But, this is the funny part. It says, uh, yeah, he drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly, even the handle sank in after the blade because he was so fat, and his bowels discharged. Oh, man. E HUD did not pull the sword out and the fat closed in over it. But then this is great. So, the bowels discharged. Yeah, his bowels discharged. Uh, it says E HUD like went out onto the porch. He didn't come in the way that he had, or he didn't go out the way he had come in. He went out another door. He shut the doors, uh, and locked them from where he had come in. And so, the servants are waiting outside. And they're like, what the hell? And the Bible says they thought that he must be relieving himself. They're like, what the hell is he doing? He's taking a shit. Like, did he die in there? Turns out he actually did. So they go find him and, uh. Yeah, he was dead on the floor.

Chris: 17:55

Wow. Well, and his bowels did relieve

Jeff: 17:59

themselves. Yeah. So I guess he technically was relieving himself, just not in the manner they thought. Okay. I think this involved another one of these judges. And I don't remember the circumstances, but JL is a woman, and the man in this story, his last name is Cicera, and he's trying to, I don't remember what it is, he's trying to escape somebody or something, and she says, hey, come into my tent, you'll be safe here, and he says OK, and he's all hungry and tired, I think she feeds him, and then he lays down, he's gonna take a nap, And she waits until he's asleep, and she takes a tent stake, and drives it through the side of his head, and pins it to the ground. Was there a reason? I don't remember, I think so, I don't, I don't know. I mean, how valid was the reason? Probably not very valid at all, but... I don't remember if she thought she had a reason to do it or not, but I remember being horrified by that as a kid. It's like you're just reading it and it sounds all normal and then you get to the verse where she drives a tent stake through his head. Jesus. I thought you were gonna say

Chris: 19:19

a stake through his heart, and then I was thinking he was a vampire. Mm

Jeff: 19:23

hmm. OK, this is last but certainly not least. So, I'll try to make this short. So, there is, uh, Jacob... And he had a daughter named Dinah. Okay. Is

Chris: 19:46

this Jacob as in the technical or

Jeff: 19:48

dream coat? Yeah. Yeah. As far as I know. Yeah. So Dinah was raped by these two guys. I think it was. OK, and obviously Jacob doesn't like that very much, and so Jacob's, uh, brothers, so Jacob and his brothers find out about this, and they start playing nice with the people who raped Dinah, and they said, you know, we, we actually like your daughters, some of your daughters, We could enter Mary, we could have this whole group. You can marry Dinah. We know you like her, uh, and we'll marry some of your daughters. Doesn't this sound like a good deal? And they're like, yeah, let's do that. And then they say, well, wait a second. There's a little hang up here. Uh, we can't let Dinah marry anybody who's not circumcised, because God forbid, can't just allow anybody to marry her. You gotta have your foreskin cut off first. Right. So... Just go get Moses wife. Right. Right. Get a sharp stone. So anyway, they go back to their town and they tell the people about this, look, they're gonna... They're gonna intermingle with us, we can marry their daughters, they can marry ours, it'll be great, but we have to get circumcised first, and evidently, the men were like, OK, so all the men in this town line up to get circumcised, just so they can start intermarrying with this other group, and we'll get circumcised. The Bible says, I think it was three days after, while they were all in pain and laid up, because, hello, they just had their dick cut off, so they're not really in any condition to wander around, so they're all laid up, And Jacob and his brothers and whoever else come in and they just kill every man in the town and take the women and children and all their possessions.

Chris: 21:58

That's the way to do it. Incapacitate

Jeff: 22:01

everybody. Right. That's funny. So, don't rape. I think that's the moral of the story right there. I would say so. Mess you up. So there you go, there's some good scary slash gory bible stories for you.

Chris: 22:27

Alright, so let's talk some popular

Jeff: 22:30

Halloween costumes, OK? This is a

Chris: 22:34

top 25 list, we can go through this pretty quickly. Because I don't know, there's some on here that really surprised me that they are that popular, but we'll see. So starting with 25 as a ghost, see right there, I'm kind of surprised that's not more popular than 25.

Jeff: 22:54

So have you been to any, uh, like spirit Halloween stores? Yeah. OK, you go in those, I mean, they've got costume after costume after costume, and there is one that is just like a ghost, but I always wonder, like, why could you not just get a white sheet and poke a couple of holes in it and then you're done? I don't know, instead of paying 35, 40 bucks for a

Chris: 23:18

good old school ghost. Yeah. This one in the

Jeff: 23:22

picture

Chris: 23:23

looks like... Oh, woman in like a wedding dress or

Jeff: 23:27

something with

Chris: 23:29

the white stuff and painted white and all that, but yeah, an old school goes to be cool. All right. So 24 is Toy Story. This one is dressed up as Woody, but it could be anything from Toy

Jeff: 23:44

Story, I guess. I have a confession. Yeah. I've never seen Toy Story. Are you kidding me? I am not. How is that?

23:54

I

Chris: 23:54

don't know. Ok, well, you gotta watch Toy Story. Do I? Yes, that now meets the classic of, of those, of movies. And it, most any Pixar movie is really good, but the Toy Story movies are good. Um, 23 is a superhero, this one looks

Jeff: 24:18

like the Incredibles. I was gonna say, I bet there's a lot of superhero stuff there, but I'm ignorant on that stuff, unless it's Batman, Superman, uh, Spider Man, like all these other obscure superheroes, I don't even know who they are.

Chris: 24:34

I don't either. No. The Incredibles, I know because of the kids, they watch that. Um, all right. 22 is a ninja. I don't know if I've seen a ninja in a while as a Halloween costume. Um, 21 is a zombie. This is a good looking zombie

Jeff: 24:52

here. I'm actually surprised that's not higher on the list. Yeah. With all the zombie stuff. Going around. Yeah. Uh, Walking Dead and all that. Yeah, for sure.

Chris: 25:07

All right. 20 is a bear. This one looks like a, like a teddy bear, not like

Jeff: 25:12

a grizzly bear. So, okay. I was thinking, yeah, like a, like a bear attacking the 42 kids, making fun of Elijah.

Chris: 25:22

No, not this. Um, 19 is Batman. All right. All right. 18 is an

Jeff: 25:32

angel. She looks all right. Okay. That's another thing I was going to say it, uh, like spirit Halloween. Holy hell. You can find a bunch of costumes. It's like, you kind of look like a hooker.

Chris: 25:47

Yeah,

Jeff: 25:47

that's the truth. I mean, I'm not complaining, but I don't remember that stuff from when I was a kid, but yeah. Well, when we were kids,

Chris: 25:58

things had to

Jeff: 25:59

be cleaner, I guess. At least in the world we grew up in. Alright, 17 is a doll. This looks like a doll

Chris: 26:10

who's seen better days. I'll just put it that

Jeff: 26:14

way. She's got

Chris: 26:14

scars, yeah, scars on her and stuff like that. Like a dead doll. Like it's been beaten up and sewn back

Jeff: 26:22

together. Ok. Um, 16 is Chucky. Okay. So I've never seen any of those movies. I've never seen Chucky. No, I haven't either.

Chris: 26:37

Um, 15 as a pumpkin, like a jack o lantern. Okay. This is a guy and a girl. Like that's the only reason the guy would dress up like that is because

Jeff: 26:47

that was a pair. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. This girl told him to, yeah, this is what we're doing. He's hoping to get rewarded at the end of the night,

Chris: 26:58

right? Alright, 14 is Hocus Pocus. I'm guessing you haven't

Jeff: 27:06

seen that. Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about, but no, I've not seen it. So this costume is

Chris: 27:13

a Sarah Sanderson character that was Sarah Jessica Parker in the movie.

Jeff: 27:20

Oh, OK.

Chris: 27:22

13. This is funny. 1980s, like anything, 1980s,

Jeff: 27:28

I guess. Okay. The, what is the, what is the costume? Yeah. So this

Chris: 27:32

one is dressed up like an aerobics person,

Jeff: 27:36

you know, okay. Like leg warmers and yeah. Yes.

Chris: 27:41

Yeah. She's got leg warmers on and a leotard and

Jeff: 27:44

all that business. So, I saw this recently on Facebook, uh, it was two pictures side by side, and the first one says, I grew up in the 80s, and it's all this neon, it says bedroom, it's all this neon stuff on the walls, all these bright colors and all that, and on the other side it says, no, I grew up in the 80s, and it's just brown, all this brown decoration, you know, it's like shag carpet, I'm like, yep, that's, that's the true 80s right there. That neon bright stuff didn't come along until 86, 87. Later

Chris: 28:20

eighties. Yeah. The beginning of the eighties was a carryover of the

Jeff: 28:24

seventies. Yes, absolutely. It was. Well,

Chris: 28:28

the beginning of the eighties was horrible. You had the recession and everything. Nobody had any money to, to redecorate. To update their house. No, it's like whatever shit I had in the seventies is what I have right now.

Jeff: 28:42

Very true. Alright,

Chris: 28:46

um, number 12 is a vampire. See there again, I'm surprised that's not

Jeff: 28:50

higher on the list. Yeah, that's a classic. Vampire,

Chris: 28:53

zombie, ghost, all those. Alright, 11 is a clown, but this clown looks like the IT clown. Or a really evil, mess

Jeff: 29:06

you up kind of clown. Not a happy clown.

Chris: 29:08

No, you don't wanna,

Jeff: 29:09

he scares me. Yeah.

Chris: 29:14

Alright, number 10 is Harley Quinn. Do

Jeff: 29:18

you know what that is? No, I have no clue what that is. I know that Margot Robbie played her in the movie, or movies, I don't know how many there are. OK. But, other than that, I have no clue. I

Chris: 29:33

don't either. It just kinda came out of nowhere, and, like, I mean, I guess I can recognize it, but I have no idea

Jeff: 29:43

why. No. Can we talk about Margot Robbie? We could, yeah. OK, what's next? Alright, number

Chris: 29:55

nine is a cowboy. I have no idea why. Maybe a little kid

Jeff: 30:01

thing. This, this is a very

Chris: 30:04

adult guy in the

Jeff: 30:05

costume. Well, that's very emasculating. Yeah. I mean, he looks...

Chris: 30:11

Well, he's not a very good cowboy. All right. Number eight

Jeff: 30:17

is a cheerleader. Hey, well, now we're getting somewhere. Now we're getting

Chris: 30:22

somewhere. Yeah. She's not dead or anything. So it's not even like a Halloween theme,

Jeff: 30:29

normal, all American cheerleader. Yeah. Rock on. She looks. Yeah. Rock on. Healthy. She looks healthy. She looks.

Chris: 30:37

Yeah. She's doing all right. All right. Number seven is a rabbit, but this is like a, you want to say like a Jessica rabbit kind of

Jeff: 30:48

thing. Oh,

Chris: 30:51

okay. You know, like a sexy rabbit costume. Not, not like a cuddly

Jeff: 30:55

bunny rabbit type thing or not a, I'm going to kill you bunny type of thing. So, right. No, not that either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Never seen that movie either, by the way. Roger, who framed Roger Abbott? Well, you got some stuff to catch up on. I just remember, so that came out like, 87? I mean, I was young, but I remember thinking at the time, it was really stupid. Like, I don't think I'd be interested in it at all. I may have only seen

Chris: 31:22

that one time. Like, in the theater. I mean, I remember seeing it. I don't know if I've seen it since then, honestly, so I really don't remember anything about it. But I think one of the biggest things of it at the time was the animation around the real people.

Jeff: 31:39

Right, yeah, the interspersing the two, yeah, that was a big deal. And sometimes we get

Chris: 31:44

movies like that now, it's like, the movie itself, and I'm not saying that movie's not good, I honestly don't know, but sometimes we get movies now that aren't that great. And they made them just because of what they could do, you know, cinematically. Right. All right. Number six is a pirate.

Jeff: 32:05

All right. I want to be a pirate. Um, five

Chris: 32:09

is a fairy. This

Jeff: 32:11

is like a like Tinkerbell.

Chris: 32:14

Like, yeah, kind of.

Jeff: 32:16

She looks all right. She's healthy too.

Chris: 32:24

Alright, number four is Stranger

Jeff: 32:27

Things. Do you know anything about Stranger Things? Nothing at all, other than it's set in the 80s, that's all I know, and it's like sci fi stuff. Right.

Chris: 32:38

So. So I watched, I watched season one, and then I didn't watch anymore for a long time. And about the time I'm going to sit around season three, maybe even four, everybody's still going crazy about it. Like, okay, you know, maybe I missed the boat here. So I actually went back and rewatched season one to see if it. Like, got my attention any better, and then I went into season 2, and I don't remember how far I got. Few episodes into season 2, and I just couldn't hang on. It's just not

Jeff: 33:18

for me. Yeah. I don't know. Didn't work out. But this one,

Chris: 33:23

this costume is, for those people who do know Stranger Things, it is 11. Like the character 11 from that, which just wearing a pink dress. It's kind of, I don't know, not much of a costume. All right. Number three is a dinosaur, but it's like the, you know, the, the things that you blow up and you can get inside of like a T

Jeff: 33:49

Rex, T Rex thing. Yeah. Those are

Chris: 33:52

hilarious. They are. I like those. Those are funny. Um, all right. Number two is Spider Man. All right. Superman hadn't made the list, but, um, the other big superheroes have Spider Man,

Jeff: 34:08

Batman. That's surprising to me that Superman hadn't made the list so far. Yeah. Unless it's number one. No.

Chris: 34:16

Number one is a healthy witch.

Jeff: 34:24

All right. She might be evil, but you know, whatever, whatever you can get past that. Yeah. She'll just cook you. You got nothing to worry about. She'll boil you like the baby. Well, I don't need that.

Chris: 34:40

Damn it.

Jeff: 34:48

Okay. So I have here, we've got another list. These are the top 10 scariest movies according to people who have voted on So, we're gonna count down from ten to one. I have seen seven of these if I'm counting right. OK? Alright, number ten. It. Have you seen it? I've not. I've got it on my list. to watch. It's on, uh, I think it's on max right now. Um, I was flirting with reading the book, but Jesus Christ, it's like 800 pages, something crazy. Holy shit. I just don't know if I can do it. Yeah. Well, I don't think so either. Stephen King's amazing. I mean, he comes out. With so many books, it seems like just every few months he's coming out with another book, but his books are long for the most part. It's just unreal how fast he writes. So when you

Chris: 36:00

talk about that, that movie, which one are we

Jeff: 36:04

talking about? Well, yeah. Okay. So there was one from the late eighties, I think 87, 88, 89, something like that. This one, uh, that was ranked on Rotten Tomatoes is from 2017. That's the one that's on max right now. OK. But no, I'd like to see it. Yeah, I should probably see it too. Number 9 is Insidious. Do you know anything about that? No, I don't. I haven't seen it. It says it's a supernatural thriller about a young boy who falls into a coma and begins to channel a malevolent spirit. Number 8, Sinister. You know anything about that? No. Me neither. A story about a true crime writer who moves his wife and kids into a house where a family was murdered. Well, that's a big mistake. Only to discover the new place might already have a rather evil tenant. Yep, see? Don't move into a house where somebody was murdered, you're just asking for trouble. It's like they don't watch any movies. I know, yeah. We talked about this last week, I don't know why it came up last week, but, or maybe we did, we might have talked about it when we weren't recording, I don't know, but, number 7 is Halloween. You have not seen Halloween, from 1978, I think it is. No, I'm not. Good movie, you need to check that out. Number 6 is The Ring. That's a good one. Yeah. That's scary. Yep. Now I don't

Chris: 37:41

remember a lot of it because I, I want to say I only saw it one time, but I remember that I liked it and I remember it freaked me

Jeff: 37:50

out. So yeah, we saw that in the theater and then a few years later my wife and I rented it on like on Halloween or close to Halloween and we put it in, turned out the lights. And we got like 15 or 20 minutes into it and we're like, no, I can't take this again. Can't take it. We're going to have to watch something else. But then I saw it last year, I think it was, uh, I watched it with my son. So it's only the second time I've seen it. It's good. How'd he do? He holds up. He was good. Yeah. He liked it. Yeah. Uh, where are we? Let's see, number five, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original. Have you seen that? I've not seen that. I watched that last year, a couple of years ago. I mean, it's, it's okay. I think it's overrated. It's got some scary parts to it, but I don't think it deserves to be that high on the list. Yeah. Number four is The Shining. Seen that. Yeah. Good movie. It's scary. That's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. I read The Shining. Uh, I had seen the movie first, but I read The Shining, and I think, I think the book is better than the movie, but the movie is scarier than the book. I think some things they do in the movie make it kind of spookier, creepier. Yeah, and that part, I remember the first time I saw the movie, this part might have freaked me out the most. Is when you finally see what Jack Nicholson is typing and it's just line after line of all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. That's all he's been typing the whole time. It's like, holy fuck. I know that's crazy. It's like, I don't want

Chris: 39:49

to be anywhere

Jeff: 39:50

near that person. No, like, you know, things are not going to turn out well when you see that. No. Oh my God. Uh, number three is the conjuring. Have you seen that? I have seen that. That was good. Yeah, it's good. It's scary. For sure. It's creepy, and it's got some, like, jump scares. Like, you're gonna, you know, yeah. Uh, you're gonna be scared. Number two, I recently watched this. I would not put this this high on the list, but it's a movie called Hereditary. Not seen that. Um, stars Toni Collette. Um, she's the only person I recognized in there, but yeah, I didn't, I didn't think it was that scary. And the number one is The Exorcist. No surprise there. Yeah. But, that's good. There was an article, uh, recently in the New York Times. This is the 50th anniversary of The Exorcist. It came out in 1973. Oh, that's right. Yeah, and a lot of this article focused on how people just freaked the fuck out when they saw it in the theaters. And they were talking to people like they had actual comments like from news stories back then about people passing out and just walking out of the theater saying they couldn't, you know, handle it. They couldn't even finish the movie. Yeah. People had never seen anything like that before. That's funny to think that now,

Chris: 41:23

but yeah, I could imagine if it's that, uh, that different than anything you've ever seen.

Jeff: 41:30

Yeah, and I might have talked about this on this show before, but when they released it in 1973, they had to cut some scenes out because it didn't look realistic enough, but then, was it 2000, I think, they put those scenes back in and they had the technology to make them look real enough along with the rest of the special effects in the movie, And so they re released that, and my wife and I went and saw that in the theater, and, damn, I've never had a movie, it's a different experience seeing something in the theater anyway, but I've never had a movie creep me out like that, that's when I came home, I turned on all the lights in my apartment, pulled the shower curtain back, I just, you know. So, yeah. Yeah, I was creeped out. The one

Chris: 42:21

scene I remember in that re release was her coming down the stairs on all fours. Like, backwards, upside down, whatever.

Jeff: 42:32

I know it. That was freaky. Uh, I remember, yeah, people screamed in that scene in the theater, which, you know, that makes it fun when you're in the theater.

Chris: 42:44

Oh yeah, that is a lot of fun to be in a theater with people that really get into whatever you're seeing.

Jeff: 42:50

Yeah. But, uh. Yeah, that was good. I think

Chris: 42:53

my bowels would release if I ever saw something like that.

Jeff: 43:00

Now imagine if you believed in that stuff. Like if you thought there really were demons that could possess people. Yeah. Like that would make it even scarier. Sure would. Damn. So anyway, top ten movies. I think that's a pretty good list. I would agree. That is a pretty good list. Most of those on there, the ones I've seen, definitely belong.

Chris: 43:21

So, I was looking at another list, let me ask you about a few here, and I'm gonna stick with the scary theme because this, uh, this has some other popular movies, but they're not scary, they're more... Pop culture ish kind of stuff. Um, the Blair Witch Project.

Jeff: 43:45

Oh yeah. What do you think about that? That's the only movie I've ever seen in the theater by myself. Oh,

Chris: 43:54

by yourself, really? Yeah.

Jeff: 43:55

The whole world was talking about it and I got off work one day and I was, I didn't have anything else to do. I was like, I'm going to go watch it. And. I thought it was overrated. I mean, it was okay to see once. I wouldn't see it again.

Chris: 44:11

I did too. I've had this experience with other movies, but this one sticks out in my head is when it was over, I just looked around like, what the fuck did I

Jeff: 44:23

just watch? Yeah. Yeah. I kind of had that feeling too. Like what the hell?

Chris: 44:27

Yeah. Yeah. I kept waiting for more, and it didn't happen.

Jeff: 44:33

No. And, did we talk about this? They mar They, the idea was that they were gonna market it as a true story. Like, this video was really found, and... If you had that mindset, I think it would be a lot scarier. But for whatever reason, it got out. No, this is not real. It's just, it's, you know, it's a movie like any other movie. And once I learned that, I didn't, I didn't really have any expectations going into it. It's just everybody was talking about it. But I got done. I was like, that is highly overrated.

Chris: 45:09

Yeah. Yeah. It would be totally different if you could go in believing it was real. There's another one was poltergeist.

Jeff: 45:18

Now that one was scary. I saw that years and years and years ago, and I honestly don't remember much about it other than the little girl in front of the TV. Yeah, they're here, but yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't remember much of it. All right, Scream, Scream was a good movie. Yeah, Scream was not,

Chris: 45:41

it's not scary and in the way that some of those others are, but they have jump

Jeff: 45:45

scares. Yeah, there's certainly that. And there's Scream is the first movie. There might've been others from before, but Scream is one of those movies where it is a horror movie, but there's funny stuff in it. Yes. Uh, and I don't remember seeing a movie like that before, but there have been ones many since. I think it was kind of a pioneer in that regard, but yeah, it's a good movie. Yeah, that's true.

Chris: 46:12

I'm going to put these together. Friday the 13th and a nightmare on Elm street. I've not seen either one of those, and yet they seem to be kind of classic, scary, Halloween kind of

Jeff: 46:26

movies. Yeah, um, no, I haven't seen either one. I have seen clips of Friday the 13th. There was a kid who lived on my street, and they had cable. And I thought that was pretty cool because we certainly didn't, but it's the eighties, so his mom's at home and she's watching Friday the 13th and I'm like eight years old or whatever. I remember, I don't know which one this was, probably the first one, but I remember this dude's walking through a house or something. And uh, Jason, the killer. Kills him with a hammer, but it's the claw side of the hammer. It's just, uh, yeah, that'll do it. Sure will. So that's all I've seen of Friday the 13th. And yeah, I've never seen any of Nightmare on Elm Street. No, I haven't either. All right.

Chris: 47:23

Well, all of that's quite a list. It's good watching. I think we need to go watch some of those we haven't

Jeff: 47:29

seen. Yeah, let me recommend now that I'm thinking about it, kind of along the lines of horror movies, but there's some comedy stuff in it. There's a movie called Tucker and Dale versus evil, and it's funny, it's, but it's scary. I mean, it's a horror movie, but it's got a lot of funny stuff in it. It's these kids, it's the old trope of the teenagers going to a cabin in the woods and they mistake these two guys as they're hillbillies, but they mistake them as killers and they're not killers at all. Then it's just. It's funny, and then there's another movie called Ready or Not, and it's about this girl who marries this guy at this big estate, and uh, she learns that every time somebody in the family gets married, they play a game after the wedding, and uh, it turns out the game is, You got to try to stay alive, so they're all coming to kill her. Oh, that's not, yeah, that's not welcome to the family, but it's funny. It's got some funny stuff in it, but yeah, it's good. It's called ready or not.

Chris: 48:45

So let's talk about Halloween songs. Okay. This is going to be. A top 10 list of Halloween songs, and I'll just tell you right now, there's some of these that I don't know, so we'll see if you

Jeff: 48:57

know these. It's hard for me to think of, I mean, I can think of one or maybe two off the top of my head, but I'm probably missing some, but yeah, let's, let's do it.

Chris: 49:07

Alright, number 10 is called Don't Fear the Reaper

Jeff: 49:12

by Blue Oyster Cult. Yeah, yeah, I know that one. Yeah, that's a classic, like 1970s. Four, somewhere around there. Yeah.

Chris: 49:22

Well, maybe I know it and I'm not thinking of it then.

Jeff: 49:25

I don't know. Yeah, don't fear the reaper and, and, uh, the lyrics are pretty twisted. I think it's about suicide, but it's got a creepy part in the middle. The guitar, I don't know. You'll just have to listen to it. Okay.

Chris: 49:40

Alright, so number 9 is the Halloween theme, main title,

Jeff: 49:45

John Carpenter. Yeah, OK. Now we're talking. That's a spooky one. Yeah. It is very spooky. Yeah. So great. Alright,

Chris: 49:56

speaking of spooky, number 8 is Spooky Scary Skeletons.

Jeff: 50:04

I think I know the song because my daughter was listening to it maybe last year, a couple of years, and she, uh, introduced me to it. I think that's that song. Do you know it? I

Chris: 50:18

think I might. I think I might know it too. I'm not positive, but I might. Yeah. Um, okay. Number seven is Disturbia.

Jeff: 50:30

I have no idea what that is.

Chris: 50:32

I don't either. I'm questioning, especially because of the next one, if it necessarily has anything to do with Halloween, or if it's more because of... Just, you know, subject matter. Mm-Hmm. But, uh, so number six is Somebody's Watching Me by Rockwell.

Jeff: 50:53

Yeah. You know that one?

Chris: 50:56

Yeah, I know that one. And I'm thinking it's not like a Halloween song though, it's just

Jeff: 51:01

No. Somebody's watching Somebody's watching me That's the, uh, so that's the song where we're listening to it and then it gets to the chorus and you're like, huh. That sounds like Michael Jackson. We always thought that, and it turns out... Oh, really? It actually is Michael Jackson singing the chorus. Yeah. Is it? Yeah. OK. You should have a listen, yeah. I gotta listen to that again, then. Yeah.

Chris: 51:32

OK, so number five, again, don't see why this is a Halloween song, ACDC.

Jeff: 51:40

I never thought of that as like a scary song or Halloween song or anything else, but yeah, highway to hell. They're yelling to us

Chris: 51:52

about hell, so. Um, all right. Number four is Time Warp by Little

Jeff: 52:00

Nell. I don't know that.

Chris: 52:03

I don't know that. All right. Number three. See if you've seen this. It's called This is Halloween from

Jeff: 52:12

The Nightmare Before Christmas. No, I haven't seen that movie. All right. I can

Chris: 52:18

hear, I, I hear that song in my head. I mean, it's actually a Halloween song. All right. Number two,

Jeff: 52:26

Thriller. Yeah, I knew that I had to be on the list. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris: 52:32

That's a good, it's a good, it's a good song for Halloween, but what really made it was the video.

Jeff: 52:38

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And the video, is that the first one? The video is like, well, they would play a shortened version, but the actual video is like, what, like 15 minutes long or maybe longer about,

Chris: 52:52

yeah. Yeah. It was like a mini movie and it ran credits and everything

Jeff: 52:57

like, yeah. Yeah, that was the first of its kind. It was revolutionary. Yeah, it was. Do you like the song Thriller? I mean, do you?

Chris: 53:06

I like it, but I don't know. It's interesting. I don't know what I would think of it if I didn't have the history with it. But you know, it's still a popular song. I mean, it still gets played for things,

Jeff: 53:20

which, which has brought in,

Chris: 53:23

you know, two and three generations since the song.

Jeff: 53:27

Right. And, and people like it. I think the song's OK. Billie Jean and Beat It are on that album too, and I think those are way better. Yes. I

Chris: 53:37

really like Billie Jean. I think it's got a cool sound.

Jeff: 53:42

Sure does. That's probably my favorite Michael Jackson song.

Chris: 53:45

Yeah. When I was a kid, you know, when it came out, I liked Beat It better than Billie Jean. But as I've gotten older, I like Billie Jean

Jeff: 53:54

better. I think I was the exact same way. Yeah. Yeah.

Chris: 53:58

And the video for Billie Jean is cool too. That was another, you talk about, um, you know, kind of a breakout thing, the way all of the tiles were lighting up as he was walking

Jeff: 54:11

along. Yeah. That's what I remember. That was a big deal. Yeah, it was. All right. Number one, gotta guess. It's gotta be Monster Mash. It's gotta be. That's the one. Yeah, there you go.

Chris: 54:28

OK. Bobby Pickett. I could not have told you who sang that.

Jeff: 54:31

No. I had no idea. You talk about a one hit wonder. Yeah. Do you find that annoying? I find the song annoying. I mean, it's OK to hear once a year, but... Yes. And maybe once, just once a year, and then that's it.

Chris: 54:48

Yeah, I agree. It kinda, I mean, I guess, um, it's probably more of a nostalgic thing. Yeah. That it's OK to hear it, so I almost feel bad saying I don't want to hear it for that reason. Because there's a good nostalgic feeling to it, I guess. But as far as really liking the song, no, I don't.

Jeff: 55:18

Alright, there you go. If you like this kind of stuff, then this is your type of podcast and you should absolutely, positively, without a doubt, 100%! Subscribe to us, follow us on whatever platform you listen to podcasts on, because that way you're going to get new episodes delivered to you automatically every single Tuesday when they drop. And while you are there, we would really appreciate it if you would rate us and of course we'd like it if you'd give us five stars. We have a website, that is subpartalks. com. There you can email us, you can leave us a voicemail. If you want to leave suggestions for topics we should cover on future episodes, please go ahead and do that as well. We are on social media. On X, we are at Subpar Talks. On Facebook, we are Subpar Talks. If you want to follow our personal X accounts, you can do that as well. On there, I am at Independent Jeff. And I

Chris: 56:12

am at Chris Bradford TX.

Jeff: 56:15

And we have some other social media links on our website. You can check those out. And last, but never ever least, please get the word out about Subpar Talks. Share this on social media. Get the word out to your family, friends, colleagues, whoever you encounter. Because the more people we have listening to the show, that's going to make it easier on us to get this content to you every single week. And I didn't mention this, this is probably my favorite part of Halloween, but you get to eat candy. Candy? Yeah. Yeah. That's something. That's good stuff. Yeah. Did you, uh, did you steal your kids candy when they were little? Oh, yeah. To

Chris: 56:52

an extent. I mean, right. I was nice about it, but I had to, you know, I was nice about it, but, but you got to do

Jeff: 57:00

something. I think it's something parents do. And I know your parents did this, but you know, after the Tylenol cyanide thing in the early eighties, we were convinced that all our candy might have poison in it. So I remember my mom laying out the candy on the table and then, you know, looking to see if anything had been tampered with. Yeah, and then

Chris: 57:23

there was the whole thing about razor blades and apples. Yep. I remember people talked about using hypodermic needles to inject stuff into oranges, too. God. Yeah.

Jeff: 57:39

And of course, that was before social media, that was before email, so this is just, you know, by word of mouth, somebody heard this, and so you just took it as true, and then you freaked out, you know? Yep.

Chris: 57:53

We have not evolved.

Jeff: 57:55

No, we haven't devolved. All right. There you go. That is an episode wrap and we will be back next week. Until then, so long.